我需要有你在我生命中 I Need You in My Life

有情天的詩歌。。。


詞曲:葛兆昕 諶慧瑟

哦主， 求你保守我的心我的意念
使我能夠遵行你旨意
我願將你話語深藏在我心
作路上的光，成為我腳前的燈

哦主，求你堅固我信心我的力量
使我得以勇敢向前行
因我知道有時我仍會軟弱
求你帶領我，使我不會再退縮

我需要有你在我生命中
好讓我一生能學你的樣式
使我能成為你所喜悅的兒女
使我的生命能夠彰顯你榮耀

救恩 Salvation

這幾天媽媽有時會把自己關在房間裏不出來，後來才知道她在為「家訊」寫稿，要把她得救的過程寫出來。看了她的見證，讓我回想起自2006年初起，我受了一位牧師的激勵，開始經常為媽媽的救恩禱告，向她積極地傳福音，到她決志信主的過程。感謝神的帶領，藉由不同的事情和弟兄姐妹感動她，應允了我的禱告，讓她願意全心相信接受主，在去年接受了堅信禮。受了我媽媽改變的鼓勵，我更堅定地相信禱告的力量，也下定決心開始要為我爸爸的救恩努力，相信神的應許絕對不會落空，爸爸一定會有信主的一天。

提摩太前書五章八節説「人若不看顧親屬，就是背了真道，比不信的人還不好，不看顧自己家裏的人，更是如此。」這句話雖然是指肉身生活上的需要，但是同樣也能應用到屬靈上的事情，願與弟兄姐妹共勉。

I noticed that mom stayed in her room a lot these days. Later on I found out she was busy writing an article for our church newsletter. She wanted to share with brothers and sisters about how she came to accept Jesus Christ. I was reminded by her testimony that in the beginning of 2006, a pastor challenged us during his sermon that we should pray for the salvation of our family and friends. Because of his encouragement, I decided to consistently pray for my mom. Thanks be to God! She accepted Christ and received "confirmation" ceremony (she was baptized at young age) last summer. I know that God answered my prayer. Encouraged by my mom's example, I have decided to start praying for my father. I know how powerful a prayer is, and I know my father will come to know Christ someday.

1 Timothy 5:8 says “If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” This mainly talks about physical care of one’s family, but can apply to spiritual needs as well. Let’s use this verse to encourage each other.

嗚~ 對不起，警官先生 I am very sorry, Sir.

晚上九點四十分左右，把女兒從Pacific University 音樂會場接出來後往回家的路上開。才剛轉了一個彎就看到後頭有一輛警車對著我猛閃燈，於是我連忙把車停下來，車上的媽媽、女兒、和我三人都搞不清楚為什麼會被攔下來。警察還沒走過來時，我就已經把車窗搖下來，駕照也準備好了。他一過來劈頭就問我知不知道為什麼被攔下來，我一副很無辜的樣子，對他搖搖頭説我不清楚，他説我看到黃燈沒有停下來。。。雖然我車開得並不快，也不記得有搶黃燈，但我知道應付警察最好的方式就是痛哭流涕承認錯誤痛改前非請求原諒。他既然這麼説，依照我開車的習慣，可能真的是有這麼回事，於是我可憐兮兮地對他説：「我不記得我有這麼做，但我真的不是故意的，非常非常對不起。。。請原諒我吧！」
他向我要了駕照和保險証，檢查完了以後看了我一眼並問我一句：
「你的駕駛紀錄如何？」
「大概還好吧。。。」
説完他往警車走去。過了好一會兒，他走回來了。
「你知道什麼是耐心嗎？」
「我想我現在知道了。。。」
「耐心是一種美德，耐心就是看到黃燈停下來，耐心可以讓你避免車禍，耐心可以讓你省下２５０元！」
「我相信你是對的。。。」
「我現在只給你一個口頭警告，你可以走了。」
「非常謝謝你，警官先生。」
他微笑了一下：「OK!」
咻～（擦汗！）２５０元，不是開玩笑的。離開以後，不上道的老媽竟然説：「妳省了２５０元吔，可以打八鍋還有找！」

Around 9:40pm, I picked up Vivian from Pacific University concert hall and was on our way home. Suddenly I saw a police light flashing behind me right after I took a left turn, so I pulled over to the road side but none of us knew what I did wrong. I got my drivers license ready, rolled the window down, and waited for the police to come forward. The first question he asked was
"Do you know why I pulled you over?"
I shook my head and answered innocently "No, I don't".
"You didn't stop for the yellow light! Yellow means stop unless you are in the immediate area of the intersection."
Even though I didn't drive fast and I didn't remember doing anything like that, but I knew the best policy to deal with a police officer is to admit your wrong doing and beg for mercy. Also, according to my driving habit, it is possible that I have done it, so I said to him looking apologetically and regretfully "I don't remember doing it, but I didn't mean it... I am very very sorry, please forgive me!"
He asked for my driver's license and insurance card, looked at it and asked me "How is your driving record?"
"Ok, I guess."
He walked towards his car, after a while, he came back.
"Do you know what patience is?"
"I think I do now..."
"Patience is a virtue; patience is to stop when seeing a yellow light; patience will keep you from an accident; patience will save you $250!"
"I believe you are right..."
"I will just give you a verbal warning this time. You can go now."
"Thank you very much, Sir."
He smiled, "Ok!"

Whew! $250! It's not a joke. After we left, my mom said happily "Hey, you just saved $250! It is good enough for losing 8 mahjong games of $30 a pot and some change"...

青少年 Teenagers

上星期六是Vivian學校所屬奧勒岡州第15學區高中組一年一度的音樂獨奏比賽。從早上八點開始到下午四點，各種不同的樂器，管樂、弦樂、打擊樂、鋼琴，等等，有上百名學生代表學校報名角逐州比賽的代表權，Vivian參加了大提琴和鋼琴兩項比賽。感謝神，她很幸運地贏了兩個第一，她的一個好朋友也是學校同學得了小提琴第一，所以她們將要代表學區參加四月的州比賽。

比賽中有一個小插曲。。。她那天穿的是一件條紋襯衫、黑長褲、和黑涼鞋。出門前我就對她的服裝不大滿意，但也沒有要求她去換衣服。在她進去比大提琴之前，我發現她很瀟灑時髦地只扣到第三顆釦子，我覺得十分不妥，所以要求她把第二顆釦子也扣上，為了這個她還跟我有一點小摩擦，她覺得這樣已經很好了，這種形式的打扮本來就該這樣。但我堅持她不可以用她的眼光來衡量，要以我們成人、評審專業的眼光來看什麼才是合適的衣著。後來她看我要發火了，加上媽媽在一旁也勸她，所以她應了我的要求，覺得很「土」又不甘不願地扣上了。

大提琴拉完之後，評審女士先是誇她怎麼怎麼好，技巧也好，音樂性也好，然後很強烈的一聲「但是！」，話鋒一轉，開始批評她的衣著不適當，花了將近十分鐘的時間，説她不應該穿露腳趾的涼鞋，不該穿開釦子的襯衫，應該穿長裙，並勸誡她「如果」她被選擇去參加全州的比賽，她要想到評審們不是專業的音樂家就是大學教授，她一定要穿著合宜， 等等。我心想還好她多扣了一個釦子，否則這位評審一定會多加一條「袒胸露背」的罪狀。。。

有些人可能會認為這位評審的要求太多了，但是我很高興她願意很誠實並公開地給Vivian上了一課。這些話從我的嘴裏說出來，和從她的嘴裏説出來效果大不相同。這樣Vivian 就能明白，不是只有她的媽媽是保守的，有人要求得比我更嚴格，所以她以後會多想想，也許會願意更接納我的意見。唉！青少年！

Last Saturday was the day of the yearly Oregon OMEA District 15 high school solo competition. The competition went from 8:00AM to 4:00PM, includes winds, strings, percussion, and piano. More than one hundred kids represented their school to participate in this event to compete for the right to represent their school in the statewide solo competition. Vivian enrolled in both piano and cello and luckily she won the first in both competitions. One of her classmates and good friends won the first in violin category, so they will compete in the state solo in April.

There was one episode in the competition... Vivian wore a blue striping shirt, black pants, and black open-toe shoes to the competition. I was not satisfied with her outfit before we left from home, but I didn't ask her to change. Before she walked in to the string competition room, I noticed that she only buttoned to the third button, so I asked to button the one higher. She was not happy with my request because in her opinion, that was the "right style", it was supposed to be that way. But I insisted that she should not think from her perspective, instead she should consider what the adults and adjudicator will think. She saw that I was very insistent and about to get mad, plus my mom joined my team to persuade her, so she followed my request.

After she played the cello, the adjudicator started with how well she played, good technical skill, good interpretation, very music, all that kind of stuff... followed by a strong "BUT..." Then she started to criticize her outfit. She disagreed with open-toe shoes, pants, and buttoned shit. She also advised her to think from the professionals’ angle, not from a high-schooler. I thought to myself, fortunately I insisted in her button one more button, otherwise she would be added one more problem of "expose too much"...

Some people might think the adjudicator asked too much, but I am happy that she gave Vivian her honest and open comments, and taught her a good lesson. The effect of the same words is very different when it came from an adjudicator’s mouth. This way, Vivian will be able to understand and accept the fact her mother is not the only one being "conservative", there are some people are even stricter than me. And she might be more willing to accept my opinion accept my opinions. Sigh....teenagers!!

天狗食月 Lunar Eclipse

今天傍晚六點多從辦公室出來時，看到月亮怪怪的。心想明天就是元宵節了，怎麼月亮還是這副德行？明明前兩天的月亮已經很大很亮了，今天怎麼只剩一半了？想想不對，應該是月蝕吧？後來撥了幾通電話，通知眾親朋好友一同觀賞，這時妹妹才告訴我月蝕的消息。如果沒記錯的話，這好像是我第一次看到月蝕，很有意思。回到家後趕快拿出相機，拍了幾張照片，與您共享。

When I walked out of office this evening around 6:20pm, I noticed that the moon looked kind of funny. I thought to myself that tomorrow is supposed to be the Janary 15 of the lunar calendar and how come the moon was still half? It looked much bigger and 'rounder' two nights ago... So I decided that it was the lunar eclipse. I made some phone calls to family members and friends and asked them to watch the moon, and was told by my sister that it indeed was lunar eclipse. It was the first time I saw lunar eclipse as far as I can remember. I took some pictures after I got home to share with you this interesting view.

此時月亮已經完全被陰影遮住了，旁邊還有兩顆星星。

The moon is covered by the shadow. You can see the two stars next to the moon.

放大圖。Enlarged picture.

漸漸走出陰影。

Gradually moving out of shadow.

傾聽女兒未説出的聲音 Hearing What Your Daughter Isn't Telling You

早晨上班的路上聽到電臺專訪 Susie Shellenberger，「傾聽女兒未説出的聲音」（Hearing What Your Daughter Isn't Telling You）的作者。這本書主要是談論如何與青少年期的女兒們溝通，以及如何以基督為核心地管教和帶領她們。在節目中他們説到了做母親的該如何增進和女兒的關係及了解，也建議做孩子的一些與母親溝通的方式。其中他們提到了一點，就是做父親的在女兒的成長過程中扮演了一個很重要的角色，女孩子們往往透過自己的父親來學習如何與異性正當地相處和接觸。最後她提到了母親與女兒可以相互立約，母親可以對女兒承諾五件事，可是聽到後來我只記得三件。。。

1。我會竭盡所能來成為妳的模範。我教導妳的事情，我自己一定也會做到。
2。無論在何種情況下，我是妳的安全網。舉例説明，妳可以隨時打電話給我要我去接妳即使妳作了錯誤的決定到了一個不該去的地方。
3。我會時時為妳禱告，也會常常與妳一同禱告。
4。。。。
5。。。。

This morning on my way to work, I heard the radio station interviewing Susie Shellenberger, the author of the book "Hearing What Your Daughter Isn't Telling You". This book mainly teaches mothers about how to lead and guide teenage or pre-teen girls in a godly way, and how to communicate and understand them. In the program they mentioned about how a daughter can communicate to her mother if she has something to say, also, how to step into each other's territory and trying to understand each other. They talked about one thing very important, which is a father's role in a girl's life. They said that a father plays a very important part in teaching the girls what is appropriate male touch. Also sometimes the girls seek outside for supplement without sufficient care and love from a father. When that happens, it usually causes problems. At the end they talked about how mothers and daughters can make a covenant with each other. On the mother's side, they mentioned about 5 points but I can only remember 3...

1. I will try my best to be your role model. Whatever I teach you, I will follow it myself, too.
2. No matter in what circumstances, I am your safety net. For example, you can always call me and count on me to pick you up even though you made a wrong decision and ended up in a place where you are not supposed to be in.
3. I will always pray for you and pray with you.
4. ...
5. ...

看過豬走路嗎 Have you seen a pig walks?

媽媽最近學了一個治療過敏的偏方- 黃芪、枸杞、加花旗蔘泡熱水喝可以抗過敏，補中氣。這次來看妹妹和我時強力推薦，每天早晨泡一壺，希望我們氣管方面的老毛病可以改善。

有一天妹妹的一個老美朋友到她家去，東摸摸西瞧瞧，看到她的氣壓式熱水瓶和她桌上那一壺「補中益氣」的茶，妹妹倒了一杯給他，他喝了以後頓覺精神百倍，多得三十年功力，於是他也想如法炮製。。。第二天，他打電話給妹妹，要妹妹給他技術指導。妹妹到他那兒去一看，他熱水壺買了，小茶壺也買了，連裏頭的藥材都準備好了，可是一看之下，才發現他買的是一堆薑。。。原來他看那一片片的黃芪，竟然以為是生薑。可是。。。他沒嘗過薑的味道嗎？

黃芪 Astragalus Root
枸杞 Barbary Wolfberry Fruit
花旗蔘 American Ginseng
Put them in a pot and soak in hot water just like making tea. The drink is supposed to be able to improve your nasal allergy symptoms.

情人節快樂 Happy Valentine's Day

今天沒什麼事做，所以花了幾個小時在網路上亂逛，看到了一些有的沒有的，像是一個醫學院的同學會並看到幾個似曾相識的名字，過去讀的大學學系網站，還瀏覽了一些人的部落格。有一個部落格的版主是個男的，寫的東西卻是十分細膩，一篇篇就像是讀小説一樣。 這下面的一段話，是從他發表的一篇文章裏抄來的，不知道是他自己寫的還是也是借來的。。。

魚說︰『你感覺不到我的眼淚，因為我在水裡。』
水說︰『我感覺得到你的哭泣，因為你在我心裡！』
正因為有了水的博大情懷，才會有魚兒的歡暢身影；
正因為有了魚的嬌美柔潤，才會有水的奔騰湧動；
我和你，就像魚和水，相濡以沫，不離不棄。

我始終覺得自己就像魚一樣，因為先生永遠不了解我的哀愁；卻不知道先生就是那包容的水，自己一直在他的心裏任意遨遊而不自知。願天下的有情人，都像魚和水一般，恩恩愛愛，永不分離！

I had some free time today so I browsed the Internet for a couple of hours and visited some websites. I saw an alumni blog site of a medical school and came across some names that I recognized, went to the department website of the school I attended in college, and read a couple personal blogsites. There is one called TanTan's blog site, the owner is a guy, but the content is very detailed and neat. I read through the articles and felt like reading novels. This paragraph below is an excerpt from one of his post. I am not sure he came up on his own or borrowed it from other people, but I think it is really good.

Fish said: "You can't feel my tears because I am in water."
Water said: "I can feel you're weeping because you are in my heart."
Because of the water's broad heart, the fish swims merrily;
Because of the fish's existence, the water feels lively and fresh;
You can I, just like the fish and water, will never part from each other.

I have always felt like the fish, because my husband never understands my sorrow; but I never realized that my husband is just like the magnanimous water, so I can fly and be free in his love. I wish all the lovers in this world will never part from each other, just like the fish and the water!

分離症候群 Separation syndrome

連續放了幾天的年假，聽説我在臺灣的小外甥在回去幼稚園上課的第一天，在學校門口哭了起來，而且聽説當天有許多小朋友都哭了，做父母的看到這情景一定都是萬分地不捨。從前Vivian剛開始去托兒中心時也是一樣，把她送到daycare去的頭一天，她哭了一整天，去接她時看她坐在老師的腿上，一副世界末日的表情，口裏還哼啊哼啊地抽著氣，一看到我又委屈地大哭了起來，實在是令人心疼。但父母越是捨不得孩子，他們就會哭得越傷心，有時還非得狠下心來離開不可。其實我很了解他們的心情，因為我自己有一次經歷，到現在都還記憶猶新。

小時候有一段時間我和妹妹一同上一所「信義幼稚園」，我讀幼稚園而她在托兒中心，平常我在幼稚園裏是不太會踫到她的。有一天碰巧是吃午餐時間，我吃完了後在校園裏晃蕩，忽然之間看到爸爸媽媽來了，我好驚喜，但是看著他們匆匆忙忙地到托兒中心去把妹妹抱出來，馬上就要騎機車離開。我不敢相信我的眼睛，怎麼會這樣？我看著他們就要走了，老師慢慢地把鐵柵門關上，一點都沒有要讓我也出去的意思，我急得大哭起來，兩手抓著欄杆拚命地搖個不停，嘴裏不斷地嚷著「我要回家！我要回家！」路過的人都看著我在幼稚園門口哭得天崩地裂，日月無光。雖然媽媽不停地向我解釋，他們得帶妹妹去「口服」，但我哪知道什麼叫口服（後來才知道妹妹是去口服小兒麻痹疫苗），只知道他們要帶妹妹走了卻把我留下，我哭得更兇了。。。就這麼一直哭到爸媽把妹妹送回來之後才停下來。

孩子與父母分離時都會有焦慮感，我們與神的關係是否也是如此？我們是否像小孩子需要父母般地渴望神？一天沒見神的面會不會感到不安？有一點我們可以確定的是，神已經應許祂會與我們同在，無論我們身在何處，都知道祂絕對不會撇下我們。

我往那裏去躲避你的靈，我往那裏逃躲避你的面。
我若升到天上、你在那裏，我若在陰間下榻、你也在那裏。
我若展開清晨的翅膀、飛到海極居住，
就是在那裏、你的手必引導我，你的右手、也必扶持我。 -- 詩篇139:7-10

謝哥哥 Big brother Xie

我爸爸過去有個很好的老哥兒們，姓謝，我們都叫他謝伯伯。他和謝媽媽有六個兒子，一個女兒，一家人住在新竹的一個眷村裏。我們小的時候由於沒什麼特別的旅遊機會，所以即使和父母利用週末去他們家拜訪也成了樂事一樁。我尤其喜歡謝媽媽留我們下來吃飯，她做的紅燒炸排骨真是好吃。可是好景不常，等我們漸漸長大後，開始發現情況有點改變。不知道為什麼每一次去他們家回來後，爸爸就會開始傳達精神，一開始是苦口婆心地勸我們，要好好讀書，吃得苦中苦方為人上人，然後會越説越慷慨激昂，最後總是以三個字收場：「去讀書！」屢試不爽！後來聽多了才明白，原來他們那六個兒子一個個都了不得，不是台清交的高材生，就是赴美留學的碩博士，爸爸因為他們的緣故大大地受到激勵，所以想要從小就灌輸我們努力的人生觀，培養我們愛讀書的高尚情操。

其實那幾個「謝哥哥」長得什麼樣我們都搞不清楚，路上見到可能還以為是路人甲，該叫叔叔什麼的。我媽那時就常勸我爸，説我們都還小，難不成他想要我們十歲就去念大學? 後來我們一聽到要去謝伯伯家就「心都消化了」，恨不得馬上暈死過去不省人事。事隔多年，我不知道那幾個謝哥哥「超博士」（從我爸那兒聽來的，可能是指「博士後研究」"post dr." 吧？）現在都在做什麼，認識神了沒有。雖然我只能「殺青椒」（“殺”的台語發音是“台”）也從來沒念過「超博士」，但是我感謝神帶我走的路。 我知道只要是神賜給我的，比十個博士學位都強！

當你爸爸是你學校老師 When your dad is your school teacher

國中時期，我父母都是我所就讀的學校的老師。如果你沒試過的話，絕對不會了解箇中滋味。雖然我們家四個兄弟姐妹都有同樣的經歷，但是我哥和我國中三年都是唯一在他們任教學校讀書的小孩，不像我弟妹兩人同時在學，可以狼狽爲奸，分散他們的注意力。從我還沒入學開始，全校老師就都已經盯上我了，我的一舉一動也在嚴密的監視掌控之中。期中考早上才剛考完，中午成績就已經揭曉，往往連半天（下午不上課）苟延殘喘的機會都沒有就已經被狗血淋頭了。國二時我忽然發現讀書似乎不是我的專長，數理化和我更是仇人相見分外眼紅，所以我爸爸已經做好了壯士斷腕大義滅親的心理準備，揚言讓我國中畢業就去「當女工」然後「嫁掉」。雖然當女工沒什麼不好，但是跟工程師的程度比起來還是有點距離，更別提被「嫁掉」。。。但這些都沒關係。。。

青少年期間，最注重的就是面子，寧可沒有裏子，但是「沒面子，毋寧死」。我爸爸因為是老師，所以在學校的擴音機上就有某種程度的「掌控權」。他是不輕易廣播的，但偶爾為了講求效率，他會用擴音機點名要我到他的辦公室去。每當我聽到我爸開始廣播時，我就會馬上就位做好隨時跑百米的準備，等那一聲槍響（被點名時），馬上義無反顧地往訓導處衝，深怕晚了一秒鐘他會再補上一槍。以下的播音是真真實實發生過的：
「三年二班，胡珮玲，到辦公室來。。。拿雨衣！」在十秒鐘後，雖然我已經很用力地衝鋒陷陣，但急性子的爸爸已經等不及了，就在我快達陣前一秒，「三年二班，胡珮玲，馬上到辦公室來。。。跑步！」讓我的所有的努力前功盡棄，被我撞倒的同學們也白白犧牲。後來我學乖了，只要一聽到他的聲音就開始跑，有時等衝出教室後才聽到他是找別人，只好摸摸鼻子回來。
還有一次，全校的師生、校狗、野貓、甚至連隔壁工廠的工人們都聽到了：「三年二班，胡珮玲，到訓導處來。。。吃葯！」然後你可以看到我從頭紅到腳地到辦公室去「吃葯」。好心的同學們忍著不笑，壞心眼的臭男生就一路問我：「你怎麼啦？感冒了嗎？趕快去吃葯才會好噢！」

爸爸退休已經好多年了，性子似乎已不像從前那麼急了，講話聲音也不如從前洪亮。回頭想想過去的事情，我還是很珍惜發生過的一切。如果他不是這樣的個性，如果他不是我學校的老師，我哪有這些有趣的事情可以回味？這可不是每個人都遇得到的呢！有時看看自己，似乎已經把爸爸的某些特性「發揚光大」，有過之而無不及。也許我也該幫Vivian製造一些「有趣」的回憶？

後記：昨天和我爸爸聊天之後才發現，原來他對我的期望是「法官」而非工程師。。。原來他早就看穿了我不是塊當工程師的料，但是當法官。。。好像也太擡舉我了一點吧？

我們都是一樣的 We are all the same

昨天晚上Vivian在房裏讀書準備今天的數學考試，我不小心走進去，發現她在玩電腦遊戲，氣得我把她罵了一頓，把她的電腦也沒收了。今天媽媽問我昨天為什麼教訓Vivian，我把這件事情告訴媽媽，她就提醒我中學時代發生的一件事。。。

國二的時候，有一天我從學校抱了一堆「少女」漫畫還有小説（向同學借的）回家，雖然在第二天我也是有一個重要考試，但我不只沒有讀書，還躺在床上看漫畫。後來被我爸爸發現了，他氣得當場就把全部的書都撕毀了，還問我是向誰借的，準備還要去教訓她。實在不是我不夠朋友，但是如果我不説，我可能就看不到明天的太陽，連向她解釋的機會都沒有了。。。所以我只好很出賣地告訴我爸她的名字。第二天一早到學校我馬上去通知她，她嚇得都快哭出來了（我爸在我們學校是「有名號」的老師，人人聞之喪膽）。她説書撕了就算了，可是千萬不要去找她。。。後來這件事是怎麼擺平的我也搞不清楚了。唉，真是對不起她。

我媽的意思是，我們都是一樣的，罵過就算了，不要太苛責（其實我也沒有哇！）。唉！誰叫我有把柄在人家手上呢？

Last night Vivian was supposed to be studying for a test in her room. But when I accidentally walked in to her room, I found that she was playing computer game. I was so furious that I scolded her and took away her laptop. This morning when my mom asked me what happened last night, I told her about it, and she reminded me one thing happened when I was in middle school...

One day when I was in eighth grade, I borrowed a bunch of comic books and a novel book from one of my classmates. Even though I was going to have an important exam on the second day, but I didn't study for it. Instead, I was lying on my bed and enjoying the comic books when my father saw me. He got very angry (like father like daughter). He not only torn all the books(I would never do that though) but also asked my friend's name. He said he would talk to my friend on the next day. It was really not that I wanted to sell her out, but if I didn't tell, I might not see the sun again not to mention to be able to explain and apologize to her... So, I told my father her name... The next day I went to her first thing in the morning and told her what happened. She was so scared and almost cried. She said it was ok to torn the book but she begged me to ask my father not to scold her... I don't remember exactly what happened afterward. I felt so sorry for her.

What my mom was trying to tell me is that we are all the same! It is enough that I have disciplined her and don't be too harsh on her(I wasn't, really!). Sigh! If I had not left the evidence against me with other people...

牛肉乾 Beef Jerky

剛剛在一個BBS網站上看到有人問了一個問題，他説他媽媽進海關時因為被發現帶牛肉乾而被罰款，他擔心會不會因此將來再次申請簽證時會受到影響。這讓我想到十幾年前我們剛來美國一年多，媽媽帶著妹妹來看我們，她也帶了牛肉乾，而且是好幾斤上好的牛肉乾，裝在一個蒸鍋裏，在進海關時被發現。那時海關人員問她鍋裏是什麼，她也聽不懂，但她看到海關人員拿出牛肉乾還很生氣地念念有詞時，竟然很奮勇地上前要把牛肉乾搶回來，與海關人員發生拉扯。。。那個海關被她氣得半死，竟然有人如此大膽，可是因為語言不通，到最後也沒罰她也沒原機遣返，只是沒收了事。後來我聽了妹妹的描述，非常佩服我媽膽識過人（家族遺傳？？）。。。但是我們從此以後就再也沒有幹過這種夾帶的事了。

I just read a post on BBS. A guy asked a question... his mom got fined at the custom for bringing beef jerky. He is worried that it will cause problem when she re-applies visa in the future. This reminds me that more than 10 years ago when we just came to the US for a little more than one year. My mom and my sister came visit us. She also brought several ponds of top-graded beef jerky. She put it in a steamer and packed it in her luggage. She didn't understand when the custom official was asking about what it was. But when she saw the custom official took out the jerky and talking angrily, she went up to the official and tried to grab and hold on to the big pack of beef jerky... The custom official was surprised that she would do something like that and got so mad at her. But due to the language barrier, she (it was a female officer) only seized the jerky without giving her a fine or sending her back to Taiwan on the same flight. When I heard my sister described my mom's bravery acts, I admire her for her courage(it runs in the family??)... But we have never done anything like this ever since.

祢的恩典夠我用 Your grace is sufficient for me

『我的恩典夠你用的，我的恩典夠你用的
因為我的能力，是在人的軟弱上，顯得完全，顯得完全』
你的恩典夠我用的，你的恩典夠我用的
因為主的能力，是在人的軟弱上，顯得完全，顯得完全
所以我要單單誇我的軟弱
好叫基督的能力覆庇我
何時我軟弱，何時我就得剛強
喔！主的恩手，永不離開我。

今天聽到這首歌時，眼淚忍不住流下來。當一個人軟弱與痛苦的時候，主耶穌的應許「恩典夠我用」顯得特別地珍貴。

宣教 Missions

最近我們教會差遣的一對宣教士夫婦回到我們當中，一方面來探望各個支持他們事工的教會，一方面回來作短暫的休息。我一直很佩服他們服事主的心志，帶著兩個年幼的孩子，到生活條件比這兒差得多的地方去宣教，卻靠主剛強並甘之如飴。

我記得他們前一次回來時，在分享中曾提到過一個弟兄，因為他會彈吉他，所以他走到哪兒就唱到哪兒，不停地用詩歌及音樂來傳神的美好。那時我心裏好感動也好羡慕，開始夢想自己也能帶著一把琴，走到哪兒就傳到哪兒，David也能走到哪兒拍到哪兒，把神的創造用照片記錄下來。這次他們回來，再次提醒了我這個夢，但這始終只能是一個夢嗎？這是一個幻想還是一個異相？我是否像宣教年會的那個講員說的，落入了一個「安全信仰」(Safe Religion) 的桎梏中？是否有太多的後顧之憂，無法真的把信心放在主的身上？我最近一直不停地思考著馬太福音第八章裏描述跟隨耶穌的代價，耶穌清楚地告訴那個門徒，跟從祂的代價是要忘了埋葬他自己的父親去跟從祂。雖然聽起來讓人非常不安，但是我相信這就是我們需要有的心理準備。。。

A couple (husband and wife) missionaries came back to visit the churches suporting their ministry and have a short retreat from mission field recently. I have always admired their courage and heart to serve our Lord with their two young children in far away places and simply place their confidence in the Lord, even though the living standard is much lower than what we have here.

I remember when they came back last time, they mentioned about one brother in their sharing. This brother carried his guitar with him, and he spread the gospel through music and singing wherever he goes. I was moved and wished I could be like him when I heard about his story. I dreamed about carrying a small keyboard with me to outreach through music, and David can carry his camera and record God's wondrous creation. Their return reminded me about my dream again this time. Is this only to become an unrealized dream after all? Is this a mirage or a vision? Am I like most of the people falling into the trap of 'safe religion' just like the speaker preached about in the Mission ConneXion? Are my worries preventing me from placing my confidence on God? I keep thinking about in Matthew chapter 8 recently that Jesus told the one disciple not to worry about burying his father and just to follow Him. This thought may make people uneasy, but this is a reminder to all His followers that the cost of following Him can be big and we all need to be prepared.

歌頌復活主 Praise the resurrected Lord!

天韻詩班的「歌頌復活主」！一首充滿歡樂慶讚的詩歌。
"Praise the Resurrected Lord" by Heavenly Melody, a very joyful and celebratory song!