一個夢 A Dream

昨天和Vivian有一點不愉快，她回家後就把自己關在房間裏不出來，我們一直到睡覺前都沒再説過話。我想是因為這樣，所以我做了一個夢。。。夢中我和Vivian有點爭執，我又因她動作不夠快上學要遲到了在生氣，反正夢裏是一團混亂。後來夢境轉為她爸爸要開車帶她出門，好像她要去日本還是臺灣。我因為還在生氣（不知道為什麼自己氣那麼大），甚至不願意和她説再見。一直到周圍的人開始唱詩祝福她，我記得很清楚大家是在唱「從今天起」，我的心就軟下來，忍不住跑過去緊緊地抱著她哭了起來，後來我是從夢中哭醒的。。。那時的心情是原諒、歉意、愛和不捨，錯綜複雜。

我知道神在對我説話。其實我心裏也很清楚，她再過兩年就要離家讀大學去了，我們能常常在一起的時間所剩不多，而且我們的生命並非自己能掌握，每一天都仰望神的恩典，所以每一天甚至每分每秒都應該好好把握。記得幾年前我在上班途中看到一個車禍，從那時起我就時時提醒自己，要珍惜和親人在一起的時間，所以當以後他們想起自己的時候，記憶中是充滿了愛而沒有後悔或遺憾。雖然理智上知道該怎麼做，但是由於肉身的軟弱，有時候行起來由不得我。神藉此提醒我，要把神的愛放在我的心裏，因為祂的愛能勝過一切。

最要緊的是彼此切實相愛．因為愛能遮掩許多的罪。-- 彼得前書４：８

Vivian and I had a little disagreement last night. She stayed in her room the whole night and we didn't get to talk again until this morning. I think I had this dream last night because of this... In my dream we had an argument over something I don't remember anymore, and I was also mad because she was slow in the morning before school, anyway it was a mess. Then it turned to the scene that her daddy was taking her out probably to the airport, my impression was that she was going to Japan or Taiwan. Because I was still angry so I didn't even want to say good-bye to her until people started to sing a praise to give her blessing. I remember clearly it was "From This Day On". My heart was softened and I could not hold it any longer, so I ran to her, hold her in my arms and started to cry. I woke up in tears and a mixed feeling of forgiveness, sorry, love and compassion.

I know God was talking to me through the dream. I know clearly in my heart that she is leaving us in a couple of year to attend college, after that our time together will be very limited. I also need to constantly remind myself that our life is not in our hands and every breath I take is by God's grace. I remember driving by a scene of car accident on my way to work several years ago. I kept reminding myself that I need to cherish every second of my time with my loved ones ever since. So when they remember me, their memory is filled with love and no regrets. Even though I know it in my brain, but sometimes it is hard to do because of our own weakness. That's why God reminds me to keep His love in my heart, because His love conquers everything.

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. -- 1 Peter 4:8